Best SasuSaku Bashing Fic Ever!
by CJxHiei
Summary: It really isn't. It was the first title that came to mind, but please read and review! And if you're a perv like me, then you'll find the humor in it.


OK, if you're a real perv like I am, then keep reading. But if you aren't a fan of lemon stories, please leave. And if you _are _a perv, then you might find this funny. _Might._

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"YES!! I FINALLY GOT A DATE WITH SASUKE!!" Sakura yelled as she slammed her bedroom door shut.

"I bet Ino Pig is real pissed," Sakura added with a giggle. She got a towel and turned on the bath faucets. She let the tub warm up as she put bubble bath in it.

"But I thought Sasuke would _never _go out with me, by the way he acts towards me," Sakura said to herself as she slipped off her clothes and took off her headband.

"And I'm glad he asked me out before _Naruto _asked me out," Sakura sneered. "I hate him so much, yet he continues to bother me. He's a real ass." She stepped in and sat down in the warmed up tub.

"Ahh, heaven..." She thought back to what happened that day.

FLASHBACK

"Sasuke, would you... Umm... That is... Can you... Please... Go out with me?" Sakura stuttered out when she saw Sasuke in the Ramen Shop.

"Why?" Sasuke asked flatly.

"Why not?" Sakura asked.

"First off, you're annoying. Second off, I don't like you. Third off- Sasukee, why nooot??" Sakura whined.

"Oh God, fine. I'll pick you up tonight at 6:30."

"YAY!!" Just then, the blonde ninja walked in.

"Sakura! Would you go out with me tonight?!" he asked. Sakura scoffed.

"I hate you, Naruto! And besides, Sasuke's taking me out! Hmph!" And she marched out the Ramen Shop, leaving Naruto in disbelief.

END OF FLASHBACK

Sakura washed her hair good and clean as she started to rinsed her body.

"That was nice..." Sakura said as she stood up and grabbed her towel.

"Now to find some clothes." She stepped out of the tub as she dried off her body, her short pink hair was dripping. She vigorously shook her hair with the towel. She walked out of her bathroom and picked out some nice clothes to wear.

"Normally I don't wear makeup, but tonight is a special occasion," Sakura said as she reached in her drawer and brought up nail polish, lotion, and more stuff.

"There. We. Go!" Sakura said as she put the lipstick on. It was a dark pink shade.

"Now for eyeshadow. Uhmm... I know! This one." She picked out a light pinkish eyeshadow color. She put it on carefully and it was perfect when she was done.

"Now for the nail polish," she said she picked out a dark red color. She put it on carefully and it was also perfect when she was done.

"I should put makeup on more often," she commented. She waited ten minutes before putting lotion over her body.

"5:30?! I've only a half-hour 'til Sasuke gets here!!" She started to brush her hair. She put hairspray over it. She looked like a pink goddess.

"I hope Sasuke likes it. And I have only... a minute 'til he gets here." She flew down the stairs and waited for a knock on the door. Knock, knock, knock.

"COMING!!" Sakura yelled as she opened the door. She was greeted with a kiss.

"Sss-Sasu-?" She couldn't manage to say "Sasuke" with his lips over hers.

"I can't wait!" he said.

"Really?" Sakura asked. Sasuke picked her up and ran up to her room. He put her on the bed and kissed her again, this time making her moan a bit.

"H-here. I'll taaake off myyy cl-clothes," she said as she turned away, blushing because she knew Sasuke wanted to have sex with her.

"OK," he said. He took off his shirt, revealing his toned body. He began to take off his pants as Sakura took off her clothes. She was completely naked now. She turned and saw Sasuke's butt hanging out.

"I'm ready," she said. She closed her eyes, wanting this moment to last forever. She heard Sasuke walk behind her and sit on her bed.

"I want you to suck it," he said. She knew he wanted her to give him a blowjob, so she immediately obeyed. She knelt down and expected to see a big penis before her, but there was nothing there.

"Sasuke? Wh-where is it?" she asked.

"It's there."

"But all I can see is two pimples and something the size of a tictac down there," she whined.

"That _is _it, Sakura."

"What? That's it? Then, your nuts are pimples and your penis is a tictac?!"

"Just suck it."

"But how?! Like this?!" She licked it. "Sasuke, it won't fit in my mouth! It's too damn small!"

"Sakura..."

"No Sasuke!! It's not gonna fit in in my mouth! It's too small!!" Sakura yelled. All that was there now was two pimples and a tictac sized penis covered in dark pink lipstick.

"Some fun _this _turned out to be!" Sasuke said. Sakura pinched herself.

"AHHH!!" She looked around. Sasuke wasn't in the room. She wasn't naked. She didn't have any makeup on. It was normal.

"It was just a dream? Oh, thank God!" She fell on her back on the bed and was greeted by someone she didn't liked. It was Naruto.

"Hey Baby," he said.

"..."

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LOL!! Did you like it? Was it funny? I thought it was. Review!


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